Based on what’s indicated on my Test
Results Form, a normal male would have a CD4 of 462 to 1,306 cells/μl. Since I got diagnosed with HIV in 2016, The
highest CD4 level I ever got was 242 in May 2022. I had a test done in November 2023 and the result
was 155.
A low CD4 count usually means there’s
some trouble with the immune system. It’s
a sign that the body’s defense is low and having a hard time fighting off
infections and staying healthy. But that’s the thing. Hindi naman ako sakitin ngayon. Actually, mas sakitin pa ako dati while
growing up and until early adulthood.
My infectious diseases doctor thinks
it’s a bit odd but not out of the ordinary. He says that since my viral load
has been pretty much undetectable for a good while, it’s a sign that my HIV
meds are doing their thing. The whole point of the meds, my ARV, is to keep
that viral load super low. Now, my CD4 count might be taking its sweet time to
catch up, and it’s not uncommon for some people to not see their CD4 numbers
jump back up fast. But that doesn’t mean my immune system is slacking off; it’s
just not at the “normal” mark yet. Usually, once my CD4 count hits that normal
spot, checking it becomes more of an option. But since I haven’t hit those
levels yet, he’s keeping an eye on my CD4 every six months.
Sure, my doctor advises
that there is no cause for concern. Truly, I am not worried. Rather, I am
bracing myself for any possible outcome. It crosses my mind that perhaps my
doctor is withholding some information, or maybe he’s simply trying to keep my
spirits up. Pero,
ine-expect ko nang I will get sick soon, maybe in a few years. And I’m at peace with that. Don’t get wrong. I’m not being morbid. I’m just being
realistic. And besides, I’m already
tired. Although I may not have achieved
much in this life, I’m ready to go. Sometimes I think about the day I can see my
parents again. And I find comfort in the belief that sila ang susundo
sa akin when it’s time for me to go.
#Mentalhealth
#PLHIV
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