Fewer Memories for 2023

Before 2016, I had a lot of photos on my phone. Many events happened that almost filled up my phone’s memory with pictures. 

After my ex passed away, I also took fewer photos every month. It has nothing to do with losing a partner. Not entirely, at least. But it’s because I probably have fewer happy memories coming my way. I realized that again while browsing through my phone’s photo gallery. I ended 2023 just like that. I don’t want to be sad about that fact. It’s just a situation I have to accept. 

I have become a boring person.

My Ex is a Stranger and It's Okay

The other day, I was hanging out with a friend, and he suddenly brought up the topic about ex-boyfriends. He said he’s still in touch with his and told me what his ex has been up to these days, even though I didn’t ask about it. Then he asked me about mine. I just said I had no clue what my ex was doing. It’s not like I don’t care. I just don’t care enough to find out.  

He broke up with me over 10 years ago and I just went along with it, even though I knew it was my fault. He’s still on my social media, but I don’t follow him, so I don’t see his posts on my feed. That’s how I avoid knowing what he’s been up to. I didn’t even know who he dated after me. I wouldn’t even know he has a dog now if my best friend didn’t tell me.

My friend J, who’s still in touch with my ex, once shared with me that my ex was grateful to him for watching out for me. I appreciated his kindness, but I also wondered what made him say that and what he was implying. I mean, we don’t hate each other, but we’re not friends either. We haven’t had a proper conversation in over 10 years, and the only thing that reminds me of him are old photos. 

So why do I feel indifferent about my ex? It's because I have no reason to look back or check on him, as I have lost interest or attachment to him, as it should be. He doesn’t evoke any strong feelings or memories in me. He may cross my mind sometimes, but I don’t have the desire or curiosity to know more about him. He was once a significant person in my life, but now he’s just like any random stranger on the street.

#exboyfriend #breakup #movingon #indifference #relationship #personalstory #realtalk #nostalgia #friendship #socialmedia #bloggerlife #blogpost #ontheblog

Why I Still Love My Samsung S10e

 

I purchased my Samsung S10e in 2019, when it was the most affordable option among premium Samsung phones at that time. I always consider the price as a major factor when I make a purchase decision. And that's just me being cheap.  

One of the features that I love about this phone is its size. It is a compact and powerful smartphone that suits my small hands. The screen covers almost the entire front of the phone, which compensates for its small size. The camera produces stunning photos, comparable to the other phones in this series. A good camera is always a desirable feature. This phone also has a high-performance processor that enables smooth gaming. I used to play Mobile Legends and I experienced no issues with this phone. It also has a fingerprint sensor and facial recognition that secures and unlocks the phone. Well, I prefer to use the fingerprint sensor only. It has a water-resistant body that can survive accidental splashes. Lastly, it is durable. It still works after numerous accidental drops. The only drawback of this phone is its battery life. As a heavy phone user (messaging, calls, emails, social media, and minor document and spreadsheet editing), the 3,100 mAh battery is insufficient for me. 

Four years later, I'm still using my Samsung S10e, but as a secondary phone for work. I mainly use it for calls and texts, and less for online activities, which helps to conserve the battery for the whole day.  Can't update beyond Android 12 though but it's not an issue.  I will continue to use this phone as long as it still functions properly.

#samsung #samsungs10e #s10e #samsungreview #samsunglover #samsungfan #smartphone #smartphonereview #tech #techblog #techblogger #technology #gadget #gadgetreview #mobile #mobilephotography #mobilegaming #mobilelegends #android #android12 #oneui #fingerprint #waterresistant #budgetfriendly #affordable #valueformoney #phoneoftheyear #phoneforwork #phoneforlife #phoneforever

Credit Card vs Debit Card

Some websites say that online credit card payments in the Philippines can get tricked by different kinds of scams, like phishing,  identity theft, and stolen credit cards. A survey done in the last three months of 2022 showed that more than half of the people who got scammed online got phished.    Phishing is a type of cybercrime that tries to trick you into giving away your personal or financial information by pretending to be someone else.   Another report said that online scams went up during the COVID-19 pandemic, and almost half of the Filipinos online got scammed in the past three months. Scam cases went up by 21 percent because of the pandemic.  These numbers show that online credit card payments get hacked a lot in the Philippines.  And this information makes me more anxious about using my credit card online.  

If you don’t want to use a credit card online, you can try GCash if the website accepts it. GCash is a good way to pay online because it’s easy and secure. You only need to put money in your GCash wallet when you want to buy something. And you have to enter a code that you get on your phone before you can finish the payment within a few minutes.

In the absence of a GCash payment option, I opt for a debit card. I prefer not to use my ATM’s debit card feature, as it is directly linked to my bank account. Instead, I acquired a separate debit card. Various debit cards are available online. I discovered GoTyme Digital Bank’s debit card. It functions similarly to GCash. I only load it up when I make an online purchase. I load it up using the linked Gotyme app. If you are a BPI account holder, you might want to inquire with your relationship manager if online transfer fees can be waived. If that account gets hacked, most likely it would have a zero balance.

Using GCash may sometimes pose challenges when using it in certain locations, such as a fast-food restaurant, due to mobile phone signal issues. Many establishments now have card terminals, and that is another use for my debit card. I would load a budget for the day and use it as needed.

Online payments are easy and safe with debit cards, because you have full control of your own money and keep your bank account hidden. Debit cards can also help you spend wisely and keep track of your money.

#debitcardtips #debitcardbenefits #lifestyleph

Embracing a Peaceful Christmas Alone

Yesterday, while selecting Christmas presents for my grandnephews and grandniece, I was reminded of my yearly realization that the holiday season no longer evokes the same feelings within me. It’s not that I have any aversion to it; I’m certainly not embodying Scrooge. However, the connection to Christmas has faded for me. It doesn’t hold the significance it once did.  I continue to receive invitations to my brother’s Christmas dinner. Yet, ever since we lost our mother, I’ve felt more like an observer at these family events, particularly as most of the guests are relatives of my sister-in-law. 

While growing up, my parents ensured that I had the full Christmas experience, complete with the traditional Christmas mass, late-night dinner, and the excitement of unwrapping gifts once the clock hit midnight. This same ritual continued as my nephews matured, although due to their commitments to both sets of grandparents, my parents adjusted by hosting the Christmas dinner and gift-opening session earlier.     

Over the years, as my parents aged, their enthusiasm for late-night festivities waned. We continued to attend Christmas Mass, opting for the earliest service available. It was during this period that my own sentiments towards Christmas began to diminish. Gradually, I found myself adjusting to this new norm.

I stopped the tradition of presenting gifts to my nephews once they reached adulthood and began earning independently. However, I continued to gift my parents. With their passing, the reason to purchase gifts faded, until the arrival of my grandnephews and grandniece. Now, I find myself giving, perhaps out of an unspoken sense of duty. It’s not an unpleasant circumstance; it's just the way that it is.

Occasionally, I find myself reflecting on the Christmas celebrations of my youth, which still stirs a sense of nostalgia within me. However, I’ve come to terms with the fact that those days are behind me, and my circumstances have since changed. 

Given the choice of activities on Christmas Eve, my preference leans towards remaining at home, perhaps to sleep, watch a movie, or engage in a video call with friends. While my brother and his family have been welcoming, I find that I often appreciate moments of solitude.

#SolitaryChristmas #AloneForTheHolidays #SoloYuletide #PeacefulChristmas #QuietChristmas

#ChristmasSolitude #SingleSanta #MyOwnMerry #FestiveAndSolo 

My CD4 is Taking it’s Sweet Time

Based on what’s indicated on my Test Results Form, a normal male would have a CD4 of 462 to 1,306 cells/μl.  Since I got diagnosed with HIV in 2016, The highest CD4 level I ever got was 242 in May 2022.  I had a test done in November 2023 and the result was 155. 

 A low CD4 count usually means there’s some trouble with the immune system.  It’s a sign that the body’s defense is low and having a hard time fighting off infections and staying healthy.   But that’s the thing.  Hindi naman ako sakitin ngayon.  Actually, mas sakitin pa ako dati while growing up and until early adulthood. 

 My infectious diseases doctor thinks it’s a bit odd but not out of the ordinary. He says that since my viral load has been pretty much undetectable for a good while, it’s a sign that my HIV meds are doing their thing. The whole point of the meds, my ARV, is to keep that viral load super low. Now, my CD4 count might be taking its sweet time to catch up, and it’s not uncommon for some people to not see their CD4 numbers jump back up fast. But that doesn’t mean my immune system is slacking off; it’s just not at the “normal” mark yet. Usually, once my CD4 count hits that normal spot, checking it becomes more of an option. But since I haven’t hit those levels yet, he’s keeping an eye on my CD4 every six months.

 Sure, my doctor advises that there is no cause for concern. Truly, I am not worried. Rather, I am bracing myself for any possible outcome. It crosses my mind that perhaps my doctor is withholding some information, or maybe he’s simply trying to keep my spirits up. Pero,  ine-expect ko nang I will get sick soon, maybe in a few years.  And I’m at peace with that. Don’t get wrong.  I’m not being morbid. I’m just being realistic.   And besides, I’m already tired.  Although I may not have achieved much in this life,  I’m ready to go.  Sometimes I think about the day I can see my parents again.   And I find comfort in the belief that sila ang susundo sa akin when it’s time for me to go.

 

#Mentalhealth #PLHIV